17-May-2017

When we were JUST friends, all I ever wanted was for you to want me more than that

I would ALWAYS wish that one day you’ll love me with all of you no matter what.

Then that day came when you MAKE me feel so overwhelmed with feelings which is so senseless

Something that even my rational mind can’t fathom and IT made me feel so restless.

I’m scared that I’m pushing you away by all the fears that I feel, fail to do the RIGHT thing and be careless.

I rarely quote excerpts from an article to my entries but when we fought last night, all I ever wanted was to suppress everything that I’m feeling, swallow my pride, forget about the pain and just kiss and make up. So I searched for some articles that would help me ease my mind with worries, you know me, reading relaxes me. 

Then I saw this article from Elite Daily, “Something to Fight About: Couples Who Fight The Most, Love Each Other The Most”

Fighting means you care enough to deal with the hurt and anger, rather than just walk away. It means actively pursuing a solution, a breakthrough that will make you stronger.

No two people are going to agree on everything, and fighting just means you’ve hit a point in your journey together that needs special attention and communication.

They pointed out some other points and I really do hope I’ll get the consolation prize (clue: last part of the linked article)

Honestly, when I read that, I was somewhat relieved that it isn’t a bad sign that we argue on some things more often that I expected. I guess I’ve never loved anyone this much to realize that fighting is a good sign in a realtionship.

I want to apologize personally and don’t want to publish the details here.

We’ll make it better. Right, Mahal? 

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH..

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